It is a LONG ROAD to recovery or remission...there is no denying that fact without a miracle from the Lord which we, and many of you, are praying for daily! Dan works round the clock to care for me and our three children. I am couch or bedridden most of the time with small windows of GOOD hours or days if I am lucky in between Herx reactions.
What I call a GOOD day is not an average persons "good". I consider being able to bathe myself, walk short distances, help a little around the house and maybe get out to church or a special occasion with assistance or a wheelchair a GOOD day. This is my NEW NORMAL. I say this to give you a small glimpse of what life is like for us now.
Some may think I just "don’t feel good" and when people do see me it is usually in a GOOD moment so they may not think I am very sick. I want to be clear that I am currently DISABLED. It is a hard word to use and has taken me a long time to come to grips with but it is the truth of my current reality. My life changes on a dime...one moment I may be talking to someone or just resting and the next I could be convulsing on the floor gasping for breath. It is the truth, we have comes to grips with it and I am happy to say it has not shaken us!!
We will fight and not stop fighting. Fighting is not just something you do so you can "recover", fighting is something you do to LIVE each and every day to its fullest, whether it is in a bed or running a full day of ministry to schools across this country. My body may not cooperate anymore but this 33 year old woman is ALIVE and working to find joy in each new day with my husband and three gorgeous boys who love their Mommy even when she can't play, get them juice, help with homework, change a diaper or wipe a tear...they often wipe mine!! God will see us through this journey no matter where it takes us or how we get there...we rest....because ultimately, He is in control!!!
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